No Husband, No Rules

I love my husband. I love my husband, but. I love my husband, but spending a night alone here and there is really a nice treat.

No one tells you that after you get married (or move in together) there is no such thing as being alone anymore. When you are happy, sad, annoyed, stressed, silly, joyful, angry they are always there. Sure, you can go in another room but that person is still right there existing in your space. And no one tells you that you will miss that alone time that you so badly wished away. Tonight my husband had to work late so I knew I was going to have the couch to myself, the remote resting solely in my hands, dinner plans at my discretion and not a word had to be spoken from my mouth after 4:00 this afternoon. Ahhh it’s like a vacation for my mind.

Now I catch myself feeling guilty, like, I don’t love spending time with my hubby. I totally love spending time with him. It’s just that sometimes I don’t want to make decisions for anyone else after I spend all day making 10,000 of them. Sometimes I don’t want to listen to his golf stories (sorry babe). Sometimes I just want to watch a cheesy love story and cuddle with my pup and not have to share her, the blankets or the air in this room with him.

I picked up Chipotle on the way home from work, cracked a beer, and sat my ass down on the couch and have barely moved since… unless you count the innumerable weird-face selfies I’ve taken and sent to him while he’s in this super serious meeting. My doggie doodle is attached to my side. When I shuffle my legs she grunts and rolls her eyes  (yes she gets that from me). We have both dozed off a few times tonight. I contemplated going to bed at 7 pm and I didn’t even care. My belly is full and my headache is gone. My voice is rested and my desire for sappy love stories is fulfilled.

I wouldn’t want it to be like this every night because I would miss his bad jokes, his sweet forehead kisses, his feet jabbing into my side, when he looks at me and tells me I’m cute with no make up on. I’d miss his laughter, his smile and his profound ability to walk the dog in the rain. But most of all I’d miss sharing the boring moments in life with my best friend. I will be ready for this sweet man of mine when he comes home tonight. I’m rejuvenated and ready for some of his super great golf stories.